Holy Transformation Cogs  Batman!
by Merkwerkee
Summary: Just what the title says. Might be construed as a crack-fic, though it isn't terribly funny to begin with. Batman is dying, but we can't have that, now can we. Rated T just in case.
1. Chapter 1

**Don't own anything recognizable, though I do plan on slipping in an OC or two. It's the best way to get the ball rolling**

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><p>Batman scowled as he surveyed the battlefield. Yet another iteration of the Injustice Guild was taking on the Justice League, but something was amiss. His instincts had started screaming at him when he'd heard where the guild had established itself – Central City. True, it was home to one of the members of the Justice League, but other than the Flash the city held no value for a villain – granted, there were banks and gem repositories, but no major political seats or technological firms. So what were the villains doing here? Especially using an uninhabited warehouse for their base of operations? He'd found it particularly suspicious that they'd been found so easily – though to be fair, these weren't the brightest pennies in the pot. Killer Croc, Copperhead, Solomon Grundy, Captain Boomerang, Star Sapphire and Ragdoll, all working in concert – but to what end? It didn't add up. And he didn't like it when things didn't add up. Straightening, he fired his grapple through a broken window near the roof. Hitting the button to retract the line, he felt the familiar jerk in his shoulder as he was pulled through, landing neatly on a rafter. Looking down, he saw crates – new crates. He dropped and pulled out an ultrasonic scanner, passing it over the crates to get an idea what was inside. What he saw disgusted him. The crates were filled with military-grade weaponry – enough to start and run a small war. Or the hostile takeover of a city. He reached up and tapped the com link hidden in the ear of his cowl. "J'onn. This warehouse – it's full of military-grade weapons. It's my guess they have a buyer already set up, and "Injustice Guild" was hired and formed for a muscular distraction. Tell Superman not to use his heat-vision, or the whole building could be blown sky-high." "Understood," was J'onn's succinct response. "Very good, Batman. Nothing less than I'd expect from you, of course, but good for any mere mortal. Which is why I must remove you from the picture. Nothing personal." Batman's eyes widened. "J'onn-!" The world exploded.<p>

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><p>I was in the middle of punching Solomon Grundy's lights out when I felt the heat on my back a bare instant before the noise – and concussion wave – rocked my world. Thrown clear across the street, it took me a few moments to orient myself. What I saw once I did nearly stopped mys heart - the warehouse Batman had entered less than two minutes ago was in flames. I didn't even stop to think, flying straight into the inferno. "Batman!" I cried, scanning the burning ruin with my x-ray vision, hoping against hope that the Dark Knight had once again pulled off one of his miraculous escapes, that he would be crouched behind a broken crate singed and bruised, but largely unharmed. Better still, if didn't find him in here at all, but outside making snarky remarks at my expense. What – there! With growing dread, I flew over to the dark shape outlined against the floor. He was still breathing, which was a good sign at least. I reached out and lifted him as gently as possible, flying out of the smoke and ash as soon as I had him in a safe grip. "J'onn! Emergency teleport to medbay!" I shouted. I could hear Batman's heart beating erratically, and it was getting weaker.<p>

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><p>No. No no no nononono.<p>

This couldn't be happening. This _could not_ be happening. Batman was tough – tough as nails, harder than diamond. He'd come through much, much worse – why did this have to happen? It wasn't fair. Batman shouldn't have been hurt in my city – his demanded so much more of him, his villains were so much more gruesome. He shouldn't even have broken a sweat. I mean, yeah the guy's only human, but that's like saying a glacier is only ice or a hurricane is only some wind. I swear, the guy is scarier than Superman, and Superman can pull your arms and legs off if you annoy him too much. So why did this have to happen? It didn't make sense, it wasn't fair. Batman was immortal, a legend in his own right – so why was J'onn having to work so feverishly to patch him up? Why was he cutting into him, pulling out dark and bloody things? _Why?_

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><p><em>Hera, please, send your blessings on this mortal. Apollo, God of Medicine, please aid and speed his recovery.<em> Prayers. For all my vaunted years of combat experience, it still hurt to see a comrade lying abed, kept there by injuries received on the battlefield. I couldn't even help – he was beyond any medical knowledge I had garnered over the years. All I could do was pray, pray to gods he didn't believe in. He would scoff if he knew, disapproval radiating from his stern and handsome features. The thought caused a falter in my chain of prayers, and I hesitated a moment before addressing on to Aphrodite as well. Even though he had never deliberately reciprocated, his small actions gave him away. The incident in Africa, his name for me. I could only hope they would be enough to get Aphrodite on his side – for all I couldn't help him, experience told me he would need all the help he could get.


	2. Chapter 2

**I don't own anything recognizable. Sorry for the shortness of the chapter, but I seem to be stuck on 1k words or (much) less chapter-wise. Maybe I should go write more for** **some of my other fics...**

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><p><em>This will not do.<em>

A vast, unseen force that had very little to do with that actual running of the day-to-day universe shifted, and peered again at an unassuming green-blue planet in a spiral galaxy. It had been bored before it had discovered this planet. Now, it watched with the morbidly avid interest of a daytime-television-soap-opera-addicted housewife. After all, it got boring after awhile, being a ridiculously powerful awe-inspiring agglomeration of power.

This newest plot development simply would not do, however. It liked this particular character very much, and was loathe to see him die and/or be replaced. No, something would have to be done – but not by it. If it used it's physical power to right this grievous injustice, it would blow up the solar system and everything in it. Sometimes there was such a thing as being too powerful.

It was not, however, without resources. Contacts were made. Favors cashed. Thieves hired, hackers bullied, and dirty work done. Cunning artificers were employed to make sure that what it wanted would be done precisely as planned. For the final touch, a messenger was employed – much to her disgust.

It was quite pleased. This would work, and the status quo would be maintained.

Mostly.


	3. Chapter 3

**I own nothing recognizable. Cookies if you guess how the Transformers will be involved before I post the chapter that explains**

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><p>I stared.<p>

I was utterly floored.

Where the hell had these orders come from? I checked the name line. My boss of the highest level's name jumped out at me and I gaped again, bug-eyed.

Swallowing, I managed to get myself under some semblance of control. Well, as irregular as these orders were, as little sense as they made, I couldn't refuse them.

That resolved, I shoved the papers in my satchel and gave the unnervingly-sized crate – it looked like a coffin, and I hadn't been entirely reassured by the additional paperwork that it wasn't – a last, fish-eyed look before grabbing my bicycle from the corner and wheeling it outside. That was another thing – I saved a lot of money using my trusty old Schwinn, but to transport that damned crate I'd have to rent a car. I sighed; I'd deal with that later. As soon as I hit the pavement, I hopped on my bike and started pedaling furiously. I'd have to be fast, if I wanted to mail this letter before the local Post Office closed for the evening.


	4. Chapter 4

**I don't own anything recognizable**

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><p>I walked into the Monitor womb, still numb. Seeing Batman so hurt...<em>So human...<em>Had shaken me to my very core. I was impermeable, invulnerable to all but Kryptonite, but he was _Batman._ Smoke, mirrors, and lies – and when you least expected it, an iron fist. I stood in the sunlight, and took everything villains had to throw at me. Batman didn't have to – Batman planned, and made sure his enemies never got close enough to him to touch him. He shouldn't be in the infirmary, with J'onn picking pieces of warehouse out of his innards. I should have been the one inside that warehouse, I should have known it was a trap...

I was deep in thought as I sat at the keyboard. My hands moved on autopilot, entering the start codes, initiating the monitoring algorithms, moving the envelope out of the way of the left side of the keyboard...

Wait. Envelope?

I reached over and picked it up. It was heavier than it first appeared, and I had a sudden, nasty suspicion. Nothing except paper showed up when I x-rayed it, however, so I took a closer look at the envelope itself. It was high-quality, but not ostentatiously so. I flipped it over, and saw my name – both of them – on the front. I frowned, and carefully eased it open.

Nothing happened.

I reached in and pulled out the fine piece of card stock. Embossed on it was a greeting, a few simple instructions, and a caution. I scanned them quickly, then read it over again, more slowly. I straightened, and tightened my fingers on the letter. I was down in the bay warming up the Javelin before I could second-guess myself. I couldn't afford for this to be fake.

_Batman_ couldn't afford it.


	5. Chapter 5

**Don't own anything recognizable**

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><p>I sat on the crate and kicked my heels. I hated this open-air-countryside shite, but it really was the only viable meeting place for this sort of deal. I mean, considering who was coming I wouldn't want to hold this little meet-n-greet where reporters were known to prowl, so that left out every major and not a few minor cities. All the other one-horse towns were too nosy and remembered events too long. No, this meadow was the best of a bad lot, and I'd still spent an hour making sure it was truly deserted. I sighed and slurped at my smoothie, wishing this was all over already.<p>

A sudden roaring noise had me off the crate in the wink of an eye. I looked up and watched as a highly futuristic air (and probably space) craft did a flyby before banking gently and landing smoothly not twenty yards away. The bay doors opened, a ramp extended, and_ he_ stepped out. The news reports and photos didn't do him justice, I thought breathlessly and with slight irony. There was something so vibrantly alive about him when you were in his presence – it made you feel at once as small as a bug and as fierce as a lion. He had a presence about him, all right, make no mistake.

"Superman," I acknowledged him with a nod, once I'd finally got myself under some degree of control. "What's this all about?" he demanded, brandishing the envelope I'd posted some days earlier. "Just what it says on the paper," I answered smartly, having no real idea what the paper said and hoping it aligned with my own sheet of mysterious instructions. "It says you can save Batman, no string attached – and consequences that may or may not happen. Is it true? Can you?" He looks desperately worried, and my heart goes out to him – for a man with a hide of steel, it's obvious that the Dark Knight managed to work his way into the soft spot. He hadn't even questioned me about the names on the envelope – a sure sign he was worried. _This worried about just a friend?_ I thought skeptically, then dismissed it. It wasn't my place to judge.

"I'm reasonably sure I can," I stated, slightly more loudly than I needed to in an effort to get the niggling fantasies of two capes out of my head. "But I'd have to see him. Alone. Nobody could watch. And I'd need that," I said as I gestured to the crate. It was his turn to be skeptical. "What for? And how do I know this isn't a trick?" I raised an eyebrow and spread my hands. "Honestly? I was given instructions on a paper that looks rather like yours and told to follow them to the letter. And as far as it being a trick...If what I read can be believed, does it really matter one way or the other?"

He seemed to deflate at that and sighed. "No, I suppose not. Get in." I walked toward the 'craft even as he flew over and hefted the crate easily before hauling it inside. I settled onto a passenger seat even as he took to the controls. "Buckle up," he instructed as we blasted off towards the outer thermosphere. I settled back and let my mind drift as I sort-of semi-watched the Earth recede below us. I prayed the paper was right, or I might not make it back to Earth in one piece.

If at all.


	6. Chapter 6

**I own nothing recognizable**

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><p>I looked at the girl out of the corner of my eye. She didn't seem like the sort of person who'd try a trick on Batman – or any other member of the Justice League; for one, he didn't recognize her at all and set-ups this elaborate usually meant the mastermind was out for some form of revenge. Usually.<p>

It didn't matter this time, though, because true or false she appeared to be Batman's only hope. My heart clenched in fear as I thought back to him lying in the med wing, so terribly pale and the heart rate monitor measuring out time in a dull, repetitive beep that simply counted out the space between life and death. No, I didn't know what she was going to do, but I had to trust her. With everything I held dearest, I had to trust her.

We docked in the Javelin without a hitch, though there were surprisingly no hails from those who had remained on the station. I shut off the engines, opened the bay doors and extended the ramp before getting up and picking up the crate to take with me. "How does this work?" I asked the little courier as she hurried to catch up. "Honestly? I have no idea. I have more instructions waiting for me inside that crate that I'll only have access to when it's just me, Batman, and crate in a room with no-one watching. Which would be really dirty if the situation wasn't so serious," she replied, straight-faced

_Superman, what's going on? You left in quite a hurry, and now you have brought a civilian to the Watchtower._ J'onn's telepathic voice drifted through my head, and I made a concentrated effort not to answer him out loud. _She says she can save Batman, and I believe her. _J'onn seemed surprised by my judgment; he paused for several seconds as the courier and I got ever closer to the infirmary. _Is there anything we need to do?_ He asked finally, a slightly resigned note in his voice. _Just make sure the infirmary is empty and the security cameras are off. _I felt the telepathic equivalent of a nod._ Understood._

It was barely two more lengths of corridor before we reached the door to the med bay, which slid open automatically at our approach. The lights were dimmed, and when I covertly checked them the status lights on the cameras were off too. The courier paid no heed to the state of the room and simply walked over to the bed where Batman lay. "Geez, the paper wasn't exaggerating. Okay, Superman, if you could just put that crate down in the middle of the floor there, I'll get the rest of this set up while you vamoose. I'll let you know when it's done, believe you me.

My heart in my throat, I obeyed and gently set the crate down in the clear area to the left of the bed. I headed out hurriedly, determined to find the others and tell them what was going on. Most of it, anyway.

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><p>There hadn't been much to tell, and now the six of us were in the meeting room, sitting in a tense silence. Even Flash was quiet - though I could tell it was a huge effort on his part. As for myself, I was trying to put my natural abilities to good use; unlike J'onn, I wasn't above eavesdropping.<p>

Though what I heard made no sense, past a point. First I heard the top of the crate being levered off, and the courier made some sort of comment on how whatever was in there not being reassuring. No confidence was inspired in me either, but I couldn't very well rush down there without anything more than that. Not with Batman's life on the line.

The next sound was of rustling papers, and the courier reading snatches off them. "Preferred sources of energy, nope. Maintenance, nope. Ah! Here we go. 'You have been hired for your technical skill as well as your services. Follow the step-by-step directions below to the letter.' I can do that. Let's see..." I strained to hear more, but there was just the sound of flipping pages.

Finally, she seemed to have finished reading. "Right! First things first. Pour this in there. Ow! What-? Oh." There was the soft sound of liquid sloshing in a container, a faint sizzling, and some muttered swearwords that accompanied some rustling. "Would've been nice to know about putting on gloves before I slopped some on myself. I'd like to give the person who wrote these instructions a piece of mind. Anyway," she finished rustling and I heard more liquid sloshing before I heard it being poured into something. A faint hum slowly faded into hearing -well, my hearing - range, and she made a satisfied noise. "Okay, next...Apply phlebotinum. What? Oh."

A harsh, electric crackling sound made me wince and Flash was instantly beside me, a stream of pent-up questions gushing from his mouth. "What?What'sgoingonyou''tyouhow'shedoingwhat'sshedoing-" I held up a hand. "I don't know much more than you. Just listening isn't telling me much. Now please be quiet - I don't want to miss anything that could be important. The Flash nodded, and I resumed eavesdropping.

Whatever had been crackling had stopped, and now there was a metallic clanking going on. The courier had more choice words for the situation, interspersed with complaints. "I can appreciate why they made them hard to get to, but did this thing -" clank! "-have to be some damn cumbersome as well? Aha!" This last exclamation was accompanied by a loud clunk. An electronic humming started up. "There. Got the bastard thing situated. Time to hurry up and wait."

Time passed. It felt like hours, but when I glanced at the clock it had been less than ten minutes.

Finally, the electronic hum stopped. There was another clunk and a few clanks, then the sound of something being dropped. "Ufff. Came out easier than it went it - go figure. Anyway, Superman - I know you're listening, I would be too if I was in your position - bring 'em down. I'm done."

I looked at the others who were looking at me with expressions somewhere between hope and fear. "She's finished. Let's head down to medbay." I had barely finished speaking before Flash was up and speeding out the door. The rest of us weren't far behind him - too close, in fact. I plowed into him when he stopped stock-still in the door of the medbay, sending us both careening to the floor. Everyone else managed to stop - in some cases, stop short - before they ran over us.

"Great Hera..."

Wonder Woman's whispered expression of surprise had me on my feet and looking to see what had sparked such an outburst before Flash did. I was thunderstruck by what I saw.


	7. Chapter 7

**I revised the last chapter - didn't feel like making a whole new chapter for that stuff. No more updates until I get another review - or until the story forces its way out of my brain, whichever comes first. I'm such a horrible, demanding person**

**I own nothing recognizable**

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><p>I looked down. I hadn't done too bad of a job, if I did say so myself. I'd spilled some of the blue stuff, and "applying the phlebotinum" had fried the device, but it appeared to have done its job before it cooked. It was now a useless hunk of metal on the floor, rather like the useless hunk of twisted meat that lay on the table behind me.<p>

I settled back and waited patiently for the rest of the Justice League to stop gaping. They were probably going to demand answers, but I had all the provided materials ready in my hand – I knew nothing beyond the instructions I'd been given, myself, and I didn't want to get stuck up here being interrogated by a pissed-off metahuman or two. The papers would (hopefully) get my safe passage back to the surface and back to my peaceable, normal existence – with any luck, nothing this weird would ever darken my doorstep again.


	8. Chapter 8

**I don't own anything recognizable**

**I am such a liar. Here we are, another chapter, and no reviews. Oh well, I always did have the will of a battered tea cozy. Enjoy, if you like it**

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><p>I couldn't believe my eyes.<p>

Batman – _Bruce Wayne_ lay on the operating table, cold and still. Lifeless.

I almost cried out, when a slight sound drew my attention to the large packing crate the courier had had me bring up to the Watchtower with her. I looked inside, and was floored again.

Inside the crate lay a robot.

I stared, drinking in every detail with my eyes. Sharp, pointy angles seemed to be the name of the game – but I still saw the familiar twin points of Batman's "ears," though these seemed to be more integral than the points on his cowl had been. There were a few other similarities – there were white, triangular lenses over what I supposed were eyes, and it appeared to be mostly black with silver sections here and there.

The slight sound repeated, and the lenses grew brighter – I hadn't known there was a light behind them until it did so, but now it just made sense. "Br- Batman?" I asked hesitantly. I had no idea what was going on, and I wasn't sure I liked it.

A soft, metallic groan was my answer, and as the light grew even brighter, the robot attempted to sit up. It got about halfway before putting a hand – I took a brief instant to notice that the fingers were clawed – to its head and slumping back into the cushioning inside the crate. I turned to the courier.

"_What on Earth did you do to him?_"


	9. Chapter 9

**I own nothing recognizable. All Cybertronian has been translated into English for your convenience this chapter - when set alongside actual English, it will be differentiated in some form or fashion.**

/_text_/ **indicates comm speech**

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><p>Bumblebee stared at his console, where a glyph had suddenly flashed into life. _Optimus?_/ he commed, making sure he had his leader's full attention before continuing. Not that was particularly hard – this particular sector of space was proving to be singularly devoid of anything even remotely interesting. /_I'm picking up a signal on the long-range sensors. Faint, distorted, but definitely Cybertronian._/ Ratchet, Jazz, and Ironhide came crowding over to look at my station. Optimus remained where he was – though the rest of them could almost feel his yearning to come and have a look as well. Anything to break up the monotony.

"It's not the Allspark," Ratchet commented "but it's more than we've had in stellar cycles. I say we go and have a look." Bumblebee chimed in his agreement, along with Ironhide and Jazz. Optimus looked at the flashing light thoughtfully. "It is true that this is more than we have had in a long time," he said finally "but we would be remiss if we did not finish this sector before we moved on to the anomalous signal." There was a collective sigh, but the mechs returned to their collective stations. Whatever the signal was, it would have to wait until the monotony of this sector was thoroughly explored – there were no Autobots here capable of making the journey without the ship, sadly. Thankfully, they wouldn't be much longer in this sector. Whatever it was wouldn't have to wait long. Relatively.

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><p>Blackout swore as an insistent beeping interrupted his light recharge cycle. This area of space had proven so uniformly boring, he'd decided to get a quick nap whilst manning the long-range recon station. He'd set various sound alerts up to wake him if anything did manifest itself – had done so several cycles ago when he'd first been assigned to this station – and this particular noise meant that the sensors had found something non-Autobot. Quickly looking over the data streams, he noted that what he'd picked up was too distorted to tell whether it was Autobot or Decepticon, and while it certainly wasn't the AllSpark or Megatron, it was certainly Cybertronian. _Starscream_/ he commed quickly as soon as he finished analyzing and assimilating his data. The answer was swift and irate. _/That's Lord Starscream, you insolent glitch! What do you want?/_ Blackout smirked – Starscream was so easy to annoy. _/I've found something you might want to see on the long-range sensors, "my Lord"/_ Silence for a moment, then a short message stating Starscream would be gracing him with his presence posthaste.

Blackout had to give him some credit – when Starscream said "quick," he really did mean "quick." Unlike a few other 'cons he could think of off the top of his processors, who said "quick" but them drew out whatever they were doing just to annoy you. Once Starscream had joined him, he threw his findings up on a larger monitor so that Starscream wouldn't have an excuse to loom over his shoulder. After studying them in silence for a moment, Starscream looked at him speculatively. "Give me your opinion." A simple order, fraught with danger if he answered badly. "I think we should go after it, my Lord." He was proud of himself for keeping the sarcastic inflection out of those last two words. "Whatever it is, it could be a marker from the AllSpark. Or Megatron." Starscream stood in silence for awhile, while Blackout grew impatient. Finally, he seemed to have come to a decision.

"As you said, it is not the AllSpark. And if it is our illustrious leader, back from the dead, then he would surely be angry with us if we went to him without finishing our scans of this section of space. The ship will remain here until scanning is complete while an advanced team – Thundercracker, Skywarp, and myself will go on ahead and investigate the signal." Decisions made, Starscream turned abruptly and left. Blackout shrugged, turned the alerts back on – after reconfiguring them to alert him when the signal currently on them disappeared – and propped his pedes up on the console. Barricade would probably be left in charge, and he didn't care much about what a bot did as long as the work got done – not so hung up on appearances as "Lord" Starscream. Blackout settled back in his chair. His last thought before slipping back into recharge was a stray question about what the Autobots were doing about the signal.


	10. Chapter 10

**Don't own anything ****recognizable - enjoy!**

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><p>I held my hands up way above my head. I was looking at the faces of six angry and confused superheroes and I didn't want any sort of permanent damage-type misunderstandings going on. Sure, they'd be sorry, but I'd be hospitalized. "Woah! Didn't anyone ever tell you not to shoot the messenger? I was just following the directions on the paper!" I proceeded to wave said instructions like a white flag – frantically, and at the angered party.<p>

Instantly, the anger level in the room backed down to merely frowny-face, but I kept my free hand up in the air. The Martian reached out and took the instructions sheet with what I considered to be remarkable restraint. As soon as he had it, both hands were back in the air. The Green Lantern snorted. "You can put your hands down. Until after we sort a few things out, at least." I carefully lowered my hands, keeping an especially close eye on the two female members of the League – both looked exceptionally unhappy about the whole affair.

The Martian looked up at Superman as soon as he finished studying the instructions sheet closely. "These instructions do not make sense, but clearly this person was not attempting to hurt Batman further." I relaxed a little bit more, though I was still wound tighter than a clockwork mouse. "There are some other things," I said diffidently as I held out the manuals.

It was Green Lantern who took the papers this time, though he'd barely glanced at the first page when another sound from the crate drew all the attention. The robot – now Batman, I supposed – had managed to hoist it – him – self into a sitting position. "Batman?" The hesitant question came from the Flash, who had been surprisingly quiet this entire time. The robot whipped around and managed an impressive glare – I finally saw what the lenses were for, even now – and a dismissive affirmative noise before whimpering and clutching at its head again.

Everyone seemed to be focused on the Bat-bot now, so I scooted toward the door. "If you don't mind, if someone would be ever so kind as to fly me back down, I have to return the car by 17:00 or I'll to pay for another day, and even with this commission that'd stretch my budget, and you know more than I do about what's going on now, so..." I trailed off. No-one gave any evidence of hearing me until Wonder Woman finally turned around. "I will take you back to where Superman picked you up," she said, and floated off down the hallway. I hurried after her, glad that this wackadoo assignment was almost over, and I could go back to delivering packages and notes around town with almost nary a care in the world. I smiled briefly to myself, then snorted. Yeah, right – I was a born worrier. But at least I wouldn't be worried about _this._


	11. Chapter 11

**I have discovered a write best - or have an idea for writing, at any rate - when I'm a touch manic and sleep-deprived. Unfortunately, my schedule doesn't much allow for this, in the same way it doesn't allow for much writing period. Might give up my other story - not like it's going that great anyhow, what with my difficulty in writing more than 1k (or for this story, 500) words per chapter. I feel like I'm doing the ideas an injustice. **

**Oh well. That's the way it goes. I own nothing recognizable**

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><p>Diana had gone to take the messenger back to the unassuming meadow I'd picked her up from. Green Lantern had proposed that we keep an eye on her, just in case, and we'd all agreed. Diana would watch her until she got back to the clearing, then J'onn would compile a program to watch for any suspicious activity from her or her known associates. Normally Batman would be the one compiling the code, but...My train of thought derailed as I looked into the large wooden crate. The robot – Batman – hadn't risen again from its – his? - prone position. "Batman?" I tried, softer, and more gently than Flash had. He moved one hand, and I received a one-eyed glare.<p>

_Whirrrrr-click! Bzzzzzz._

I stared.

"I did not understand that," I said carefully. The other hand moved and I got a full-on glare.

_Bzzzzzz-click! Click-click!_

I looked around. A host of confused looks met my eyes, and Bat-bot noted our expressions. With exaggerated care, such as one might you with a particularly dense and annoying group of children, he tapped himself on the chest. I looked a little closer, and saw the Bat-symbol embossed on his chestplates.

Shayera broke the silence. "So...You _are_ Batman. Batbot. Whatever. How'd you end up as a robot?" The of us nodded in agreement – it was a very good question, one we'd all been wondering about. Unfortunately, Batman's response left something to be desired. After staring at Shayera in measured silence, he gave a slow, eloquent shrug of his shoulders.

Green Lantern snorted. "It's not it matters any how. My question is, can you still do the job? Or are you done with Batman?"


	12. Chapter 12

**I own nothing recognizable**

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><p>I didn't know a robot could move that quickly – then again, most of my experience had been confined to the large, hulking variety as they stormed downtown Metropolis is a seeming endless parade. It took about two seconds of stunned silence before Batman flew into motion. He had me up against the wall by my collar before most of the rest of us could even blink, and I hurried to place a hand on his shoulder.<p>

Fortunately – well, fortunately for me – Batman still wasn't used to his new body, and his new body wasn't used to him. While it seemed sheer willpower had gotten him this far, he collapsed with an exasperated whine. "You okay?" I asked him, rubbing my neck with a wince. That earned me a particularly withering glare, and Shayera laughed. "Dumb question," I conceded – after all, I probably wouldn't be feeling 100% if I'd just had a building dumped on me before being transferred to a robotic body. Batman nodded in agreement – he evidently thought so. I took a moment to reflect on how much sarcasm you could actually fit into a nod before going back to the matter at hand.

"So, you're on the invalid list until you can prove to my satisfaction that you won't be more a hindrance than a help." Superman looked like he wanted to object, but I held up a hand. "I'm the closest thing we got to a tactician until he figures out a better way to communicate than Morse code," I stated as I gestured to Batman. That earned me another glare, but I ignored it. Superman just held up his hands. "I wasn't going to argue that, I was just going to ask is do we keep him in the Watchtower until you clear him?" I frowned. I hadn't really thought about it. "I suppose not, though if you go out before you're ready, you'll be confined to the Watchtower until I say you are," I warned him. He gave me a dry look, but nodded. I sighed. "Whatever. You read these, the rest of us have work to do," I said as I shoved the manuals the courier had given us at him and headed off to see if J'onn had gotten those alorigthms in place yet.


End file.
